Two couples and a priest led the retreat and gave the talks. One of the couples was unable to stay for the second day so we got a new couple the morning of the second day. The presentations included topics like finances, raising children, intimacy and sex, natural family planning, and prayer. The format of the weekend really was conducive to growing as a couple. We listened to the presentation. When the talk was over, we wrote about the talk focusing on the provided discussion questions. After a period of writing, Clarissa and I joined up in our discussion room and read what the other wrote. When we were done, we would discuss what we had written and the topic as a whole.

Many of the presentations were quite good, and the personal witness and examples that the couples provided really helped put the lifelong commitment that is marriage in perspective. One unexpected, but very neat, aspect of the retreat were the experiences that the priest had to offer. He talked about his “marriage” with us, the Church, and it very similarly mirrored what the two couples were talking about in their own marriages.

The accommodations at the retreat center were quite nice, and the food was pretty good. Meals were really our only opportunity to socialize with other couples on the retreat. Even though Clarissa and I had roommates in our (separate) rooms, we really did not have much time to get to know them. However, that did not feel like too big of a deal because of how much Clarissa and I grew as a couple over the course of the weekend.

On one of our first visits, we found an engagement ring that both Zachary and I liked, and we even found a wedding band that went pretty well with it. We wanted to think about it a little more, so we had Jane write it down, and we said we would come back. The next Friday that Zachary was home, we went to visit Jared’s again. While we were waiting for Jane to pull out the rings we had looked at before, we browsed the other engagement rings again. Of course, we found another ring that we liked. It had four little diamonds on each side of the mounting. It was simple yet elegant, which is exactly what I wanted. We had Jane pull this new ring out as well, and I tried both rings on. Zachary and I ended up deciding on the new ring and found a very nice wedding band to go with it.  The wedding band has a row of 12 small diamonds on it, and it looks perfect with the engagement ring! Just to be sure, we said we’d come back tomorrow. Saturday, we made the purchase, and Jane gave me the wedding band, and I gave Jane the proposal ring. Jared’s removed the diamond and the mounting from the proposal ring placed it into the engagement ring. After church on Sunday, we picked up the engagement ring.

The engagement ring!

I had originally planned to propose on August 14, 2009. Therefore, when the middle of June rolled around, I planned a trip home to see Clarissa and my family, and I called my mother up and asked if she would like to go engagement ring browsing with me. She agreed, and we decided that the last day that I was home, Sunday, June 21, should work well. I had a nice weekend at home, and on Sunday, my mother and I went and checked out the Jared location in Maple Grove. We were greeted by a representative named Jane, and she explained the different options and helped us browse through some different diamonds and bands. That day, I looked at a nice Leo diamond and a simple solitaire band that I liked, and I knew Clarissa would like, too. Jane was no pressure, and since I did not want to buy that day, she wrote down my contact information and the stone and band information. Then we left. I knew I would be back home to make the purchase before August 14.

Then the beginning of July rolls around. It has become clear that I am not going to be able to defend my thesis in time to make the August graduation deadline. That means I will still be in Milwaukee on August 14. Clarissa has made a few subtle hints about engagements and weddings. August 14 quits looking like such an ideal date. On July 10, I called up Jane to see what my options are. They still have the same diamond and band in the store. I decide that I want it. It was designed to be a proposal ring so that Clarissa and I could go back in later and select a different band and a wedding band to go with it. Jane finalizes the details, but the transaction must be paid for by the person who picks up the ring. That is inconvenient, but my mother agrees to pay temporarily so that she can pick up the ring for me.

My mother picked up the ring on Tuesday, July 21. Clarissa was planning on visiting me the next weekend, and my mother always sends a paper bag or two full of food and mail for me. She slipped the ring in with a pair of flip flops for me in the bottom of the bag and covered the box with boxes of cereal. Clarissa picked up the bag from my mother and brought it to Milwaukee for me. I proposed that Friday night, and she never even knew she brought her own engagement ring to Milwaukee!

The proposal ring.

After the family phone calls, we decided to head back to the Men’s Catholic House. When we got home, most of the people from the Brewer’s game were still hanging out at the house. (It was now close to 1:30am.) We entered and David Kruse, Tom Klind, and manly company started excitedly singing. Since I had already told Rebecca Baehrend, I asked her if she had told them. She looked horrified and told me that she had not. When Dave and company started singing about Michael Tedone, I knew they had no clue what had just happened. Rebecca tried to quiet them down, while the more observant individuals began congratulating us. Dave and company were very annoyed that they were being silenced, but they did eventually stop singing. When the room was quiet, I announced, “I would like you all to meet my new fiancée.” Dave and company then went completely wild. They started singing again and congratulating us. Clarissa and I got to tell everyone how it happened. Some of the guys even went out and bought ice cream. It was a wonderful way to celebrate our new engagement.

Clarissa and I didn’t get to bed until 3:30am!

After the game, Clarissa and I decided to go for a walk by the Milwaukee river. I packed a backpack with a rose, a ring, an umbrella, and our windbreakers. (I told Clarissa I had packed an umbrella because it might rain.) We left around 11pm. When we got to the river, we started walking around. We ended up sitting on one of the circular stepped outcroppings between Wells and Kilbourn. The Kilbourn bridge is nicely lit at night with lights that slowly change color. We decided to sit down and watched the bridge for a while.

We talked casually for a while with our arms around each other. After a while, I directed our conversation toward talking about our relationship. I told Clarissa how happy I am that we started dating and how much we have learned about each other. After a bit more conversation, I took the ring out of the backpack (somewhat ungracefully as it had fallen to the bottom of the bag), opened the case, and asked Clarissa to marry me. (It was midnight.)

Clarissa said yes without any hesitation whatsoever. She was so excited, and she loved the ring. Then I gave her the rose to go with her ring.